We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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