Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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