Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
