gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
