Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
