oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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