I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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