how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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