Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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