She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I would fuck him just for his dog
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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