just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
don't judge my taste in strippers
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
