11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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