that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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