felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Alive.
So much puke
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
