So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
