yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Boobs are out for the taking
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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