Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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