You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
