Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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