She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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