i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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