Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I am one with the molecules
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
