Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
