idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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