her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
