But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
