i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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