No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
