You can't motorboat a personality
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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