You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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