god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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