The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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