He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
