Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
