I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
