I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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