i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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