I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
