He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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