Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
