so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
