So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Randomize
