her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
