Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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