Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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