Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize