Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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