so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
