Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
