Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
