You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
