Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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